Category Archives: being a mom

What kind of people are in your life?

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, Dream Project and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

I recently realized that I have some amazing people in my life, who make my life much more easier to handle, now.

Being a mom, and an entrepreneur demands constant attention to details, (now I’m not saying that this is the only job that demands critical attention… I’m just making a note) emails, line items, budgets, and I’m often dealing with a lot of personalities… and my son.  This can be tricky, daunting and completely exhausting.  Good news is that I have some amazing people in my life that tow the line for me when I’m in trouble, which is so nice!

About a two years ago, I had an awakening around relationships… and people.  They(people) are not always what I want them to be, and as a result of my convoluted yet, wishful thinking I am let down by people who I thought were one way, and actually in the end were not that way at ALL!  I want so badly for people to do good, be kind, and do the right thing, to be supportive, handle situations which can be tough or awkward… but what I have realized is that NOT everyone is on the same spiritual, business, friend, OR  life page as I am… and this is, and has to be OKAY.

What do I do, what did I do… I cleared the path for others, I said see ya later to the “no-shows” AND THEN LIFE FELT EASIER… Are you holding onto someone?  Let go!  I tell you it will feel amazing.

Keep dreaming.

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The last fifteen minutes

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom and tagged with , ,

 

I think Adrian has about 15 minutes left in today’s nap… so I have to make this a quick entry.

The last couple of weeks have been a challenge, difficult, hard, or bluntly said, shitty.  I have been wandering through the waters of health issues, and when this comes up I automatically go to the place of, all of this is FINE!  I am FINE, everything is GREAT.  It’s almost like I ignore it.  Now, health issues are no new experience for me, I have reoccurring, hormonal abnormalities which make me crazy.  I have been on treatment for years, almost like the gluten-free diet… (another experience) Anyway, here I am twenty-seven months post baby trying to begin my life again, as a business woman and I’m crumbling.   Yesterday I went to my doctor to review my most recent round on blood work, to find her eyes just as baffled as mine…NOT GOOD.  Now, I’m not saying that I’m dying, I’m only saying that it’s not better.   I leave the office with little hope– and remember I am a HOPE junkie!  I cried on my way home.  I think I forgot what it was like to cry, I was surprised by my tears.  I got home to my son, sleeping and realized that all is good… and then today happened.

I woke up depressed, again.

In the midst of this I am still trying to launch a business, create technology for others… while my development team seems to be slowing down… and I’m beginning to feel stuck.  I don’t like feeling stuck.  Do you?

I hear him wrestling around, oh no.  Do I have to end this now?

I guess today, I have to take it slowly, and really remember to ask for what I need, listen to those around me, share with those who ask… and lastly give myself a break.  There is a bigger plan, and I have to remember that being a “mompreneur” is really secondary to my life as a MOM!

He’s awake, gotta run.

 

 

Fridays come and go

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, Dream Project, parenting, toddler living and tagged with , , , , , , ,

Another friday, already.

I have been swamped with my pivitol tracker messages… so much work and so little time.  But this is great news, which means I am closer to launching, the soft launch.  Lets be honest, the test launch.

On another note, I have noticed that my son, has suddenly stepped into being TWO.  Now I have begun to understand why they shake their heads and say something like, “Oh yeah, the terrible twos”  Last night after I had just finished cutting all the broccoli and chard for my son we went BOOM.  He ran up behind me and bites my, bum… hand on pot stirring veggies, food went flying, we fell to the floor and suddenly I couldn’t figure out how we got there.   Scared that something had burned him, and shocked that I didn’t start screaming from the bite… we sat with pieces of broccoli and swiss chard scattered on our kitchen floor, gas flame still dancing. This became our first official TIME OUT, I sat him down quietly and said now you don’t bit mommy, you need to sit and be quiet by yourself!  Low and behold… he sat.  I think it helped that I had the music on, as he started to snap his fingers and pretend to play the drums, I reminded him to be quiet and still and he did…
WOW.

I guess there are first for everything.  We are at 2, what am I to do?  Teach, love and remember that he is only two, yes only 2…
Until next time.

Just a little rant about motherhood!

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, parenting and tagged with , ,

A job is what you call it, whatever that may be, it could be doing laundry for a large hotel chain, a street sweeper, a coffee jerk, aka coffee barista, someone who rolls dice on wall street, or what about singing, painting, bus driving, stock car racing, administrative assistant anyone?  Candy girl, chef de cuisine, student, caretaker, taco maker, pizza maker, CEO, grocery bag clerk, bank teller, garbage truck driver, and then there the dental hygentist, a teacher, number crunchers (accountant), a pediatric nurse.  I could go on and on with the creation of jobs and ideas and the needs we have to live in a civilized society, but I won’t, that is not what this post is about… It is about the most important job in the world… The job of being A MOTHER.  The job as a mother is, as I see it completely overlooked and  under compensated, almost like that of teacher.  Granted you are filled with love and emotions everyday, but that is not the cold green cash that pays the bills or the achievement award to hang on the wall, or a promotion.  You don’t get promoted, you do not get a raise, you start with diapers, and get more poop, and then tears and laughter and “NO mommy”…  There is no end to this job.  I have been thinking about how society is falling apart, and why… and I think of my contribution, my part, my job, and I am faced to ask myself if I am doing enough, am I doing it right?  It’s not like there are PhD programs or classes to get my masters in for rearing a child.  Will my son be a part of a solution, am I instilling morals and sincerity, kindness, and the perseverance that will be needed to survive the certain trials and lows spots that will inevitably show up in the years ahead?

The job of Motherhood, is not talked about enough, when I found out that I was pregnant no one warned me or sat down with me to talk to me about what was to come.  I don’t say this in a negative way or a woe is me way… I reference this only to say that its such a shame that we do not celebrate motherhood more!  This job is what creates our society.  We moms are the caretakers of the future, are we missing something here?

I can go on and on about this but for today it’s off my chest… and I will get back to work!  Keep Dreaming.

xo

 

 

 

I think I left the planet

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, being a wife, Dream Project, everyday family life and tagged with , , ,

Holiday, came and gone, and so was I.  I woke up today, sore, sore neck, sore back and a sore throat, great just what I need on my first day back from holiday.

Let’s talk about holidays for a moment, Yes I will.  I am of the variety who loves to travel and relax, but I really do love making  my own tea, having my own toast, and being able to relax in multiple rooms if necessary.  We rent small houses or cottages when on holiday, and now with our son, we rent at least a two bedroom!  This holiday we went to Santa Barbara, and Los Angeles, I was thrilled to go away, I was looking forward to it.  I shared this with another mom, and she quietly under her breath said, oh sure that will be fun, that is no holiday at all… NOW I know the quiet slur turned out to be absolutely true.  When a mom goes on holiday with her family, she is not on holiday, her, my life continues to be a Full time mom, I still have to make breakfast, change diapers, bathe, play trains, blow bubbles and cuddle to bed for nap.  There are no breaks.

I now realize why my friend, Tracy once talked about the all-inclusive, which at the time I was horridfied to thing of or even consider… pre-made breakfast, crispy sheets, the smell of hotel curtains… no Blue Bottle Coffee…  Well, now after this ten day excursion I am shouting from the roof, YES ALL INCLUSIVE!  On our next trip I don’t want to do dishes, I don’t want to do laundry, I don’t even want to make a bed…  NOW that will be a holiday!  Wow, life has changed, indeed Lane.

Dreaming of the next holiday… June!

all nuts!

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, Dream Project and tagged with , , , ,

I use to stress about everything, really everything, like the color of my socks matching my bag, and belt or the shade of lipstick or how my ass looked in a certain pair of pants… I can list at least a 100 things… which have melted away, far away.  Now as an entrepreneur there are new things to stress about, like the time of launch, how much money is being spent in idle time, who will see the product, who will “get” the idea, where will the next payment come from… I can list at least a 100 things… but I won’t because I have learned not to stress… I have learned to make treats, cook, create… and let it go, I certainly trust that something else is working behind the scenes, and I have to stay present in order to not miss something with my son… who is the most important being in my life!  I stepped into the kitchen…  watch

Nutty Nut Bars

1/2 cup almonds– 1/2 cup hazelnuts — 1/2 cup walnuts — 1/2 gluten free oats  — 1/2 cup raisins — 1/2 cup wildflower honey — 2 tbsp flax — 2 tsp chia seeds –  chop or use processor to chop all nuts, raisins flax and chia seeds — roast chopped nuts in an oven at 350 for 15 minutes.  Place all ingredients in bowl mix in honey oh and 1 tbsp vanilla — 1/2 tsp cinnamon, and 1/2 tsp nutmeg– to your flavor liking.  After mixing add 1 egg which you have whipped up and pour into mixture and then mix all together… then place mixture in a baking pan which has been greased with your preference of either canola oil or butter, or… — then cook for 20 minutes or til edges turn brown.  take out of oven let rest and then cut into tiny pieces!  ENJOY!

A mental health day-off

Posted by adrian's mom in being a mom, being a wife, everyday family life, i forgot about me, parenting and tagged with , , , , , ,

Last Friday I took a personal day… a leave of absence so to speak, or you could call it a mental health day.  I was sick of it, all of it.  Fortunately for me I have a wonderful friend who came to my house and gathered me and my bag for an overnight respite.  She asked me on the way out of the city what I wanted to do, if there was somewhere I wanted to go, or if I’d like to just go rest.  Now, first I thought, oh this will be perfect I will get so much done, I can work, work, work… then what came out of my mouth was entirely different.  “I want to sit.”  She took me to her beautiful home, yeah.  I began to melt, I unpacked.  I sat.  And then the little screaming bug went off in my head, YOU have to get stuff done, there is so much to do… and up and out came my computer, my paperwork, pen, iPad… I began.  The results, nothing to my satisfaction, so I quit!  I retired at 4:00.

The rest of the day was pleasant I felt the blood coming back into my face, the corners of my mouth began to perk up and my shoulders began to fall, at least a half-inch.  I didn’t have much to say, which for  me is rare, but my tank as they say was empty.  I drank more water.  We got in her cute little green VW bug and went for a drive and watched the sun begin to settle down this side of the planet.  Beautiful.  Breathing.  I began breathing again, full breaths, down to the bottom of my lungs, and my shoulders had fallen another half-inch.  By nightfall, and after eating a perfectly cooked streak from the grill, I indulged in my favorite treat… peanut M&Ms!  Life at that moment, perfect.  I could barely carry a conversation, as my mind began shutting down on me, so I retired to the bed!  I don’t even remember putting my pajamas on or taking the pillows down, did I say I was tired?  I think I was more exhausted at that moment, then when I encountered sleep exhaustion from when my son was an infant.  I slept peacefully.

On awakening, I pulled my yoga mat and did my usual routine which brought me a full smile.  My shoulders at this point back to resting position.  My stomach was no longer tied in knots either.  YEAH!

Later that afternoon when my son, and husband came to get me, I ran to see them.  Let me say that again, I ran to see them!  I was excited.  Happy.  And I was suddenly reminded of what is important, and why I have a family, and why I do this life that I do.  I realize that at any point, we as moms can make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives, and when slammed against the wall, we, me, I can make decisions that don’t make sense to me or anyone else, but they can be made in an instant of insanity.  Those moments are real.  Those moments are the ones we, me, I have to beat…  I have to take these mental health days, I must have these days off… I love my husband, and my son… and I certainly don’t want to make a dreadful decision in the exhaustion.  Moms, I think we should have a once a month mandatory day off, what do you think?

Today is Monday, and I can successfully face the world, my shoulders are relaxed, I’m breathing, and my stomach is back to normal… oh what a wonderful adventure being a mom!