I had this conversation with Braunwyn Windham Burke prior to the Real Housewives’ decision to not up her contract again… such a bummer and more reason to love her Real Housewives Get Sober
Listen in to Braunwyn’s Episode
Braunwyn: Hi, this is Braunwyn Windham Burke, and you are listening to the podcast Recover Like a Mother.
Lane: Welcome back. Hello, my friends. I am so excited that you have tuned in today. And if you’re new to the show, welcome to recover like a mother where I speak with amazing mothers in recovery to share their journey, their experience, and tips on living in recovery.
Today. I have a beautiful guest. I met her through that crazy. Social app clubhouse. If you’re not in the clubhouse yet, I want to invite you to join. You can send me a direct message. I have lots of invitations. Real Housewives Get Sober It’s just a fun way to communicate and collaborate and get to know people. And today’s guest Bronwyn is here with me.
I can’t wait to hear her story and what’s going on. Welcome to the show, Braun.
Braunwyn: Thank you. I’m so bad.
Lane: I cannot believe how. Recovery is popping up and it starting to really blossom in the world. I know that you’re newly sober. You’re a little over a year more, 154 days are amazing. Amazing. Any day. Sober is amazing.
I think you’re a mom of six.
Braunwyn: How did that happen? I mean, let’s be honest. I am an addict and moderation is not my thing. So if one kid is good, seven must be bad.
Lane: Were you the type of girl that grew up with like dolls and you know, like the little houses?
Braunwyn: I was the type of girl that lived in the same county, probably two miles from where I live now.
Real Housewives Get Sober
I had a single mom in a town of all married people. And I wasn’t allowed to do some of the things because I had to take the bus home. So I couldn’t do brownies or after school and all I wanted is a little. Was that a nuclear family? I wanted this, I wanted to stay at home. Mom. I wanted a lot of kids. I wanted what I felt I didn’t have as a kid.
So I knew from the time I was very young that I wanted to be a mom and I wanted to have a lot of kids and I, my husband and his first date, I was 18. Mind you? We were very, we were teenagers. I told him on our first date, I don’t want to work. I want to have a lot of kids and I want to be a stay-at-home mom. Real Housewives Get Sober
And he didn’t.
Lane: Okay. That’s amazing. Yeah. I was not that girl. I was like out in the trees, climbing adventure, like kids were not on my radar. So when I hear women like you and I have a really close girlfriend, who’s like six kids, five kids, more kids. I’m always just. You’re from a different planet.
Bronwyn: It’s amazing to me, that was all, all they ever wanted to be was a mom.
That was it. That was my, I just wanted to be a mom so bad. Yeah.
Lane: And now, like with this information of being a mother, I really believe mothers are the heroes of our planet and we are the makers, the doers. Those world changers. So I applied to mothers. And when they have five kids, four kids, three kids, one kid.
Yes. You’re my people. Yeah.
Braunwyn: And my car, it’s like a drive. Yeah. We’re connected by that. Overwhelming love for not only our kids. And I think all children, once you have one child, you are just a mother with a capitalism, you know,
Lane: a mother with a capital. Yeah, I’m going to quote you on that one. So you’ve had all of your kids then pre-sobriety.
Braunwyn: My sobriety journey is not linear. You know, this is my third time getting sober. So I had my first child when I was 22. So we were drinking and partying. We were very young, you know, straight out of college and I got pregnant, not on accident. We, we, I went up birth control pills. I wanted to have children young.
I didn’t want to. Be in the workforce, but I didn’t think, like, I didn’t think of it as I had a drinking issue then. Cause everyone drank how I did back then, you know, very irresponsibly. And then I didn’t drink for a very long time. Bella had a Caesar seizure disorder, our oldest daughter. And so I never wanted to be in a position where I wasn’t.
Okay. So I had Bella and Rowan pretty quick in quick succession and I think it just, I was so focused on being a mom and. I was very insecure in motherhood. Those first few children, I have to say, I would look at other women and be like, okay, that’s what moms do. They’re doing it. Right. Like, Real Housewives Get Sober I never felt comfortable in motherhood.
I was about 10 years younger than most of the women in my neighborhood. And I just, it. Like, try not to address the didn’t fit, you know, for lack of a better word. Like, I don’t know. So I’d never really drank that much with them. And then I had Jacob, I realized that you know, we wanted to try again, even though we were so young and just so broke, but whatever, and then it wasn’t until Jacob turned about to that.
And he’s almost 16 now. So when he was two, I weaned him. Cause I nursed all my babies for two years before we started making. And we were like, Crazy kids in a candy store. We started going to Vegas all the time. Real Housewives Get Sober We started partying and my husband’s always been my partner in crime. He’s been there right beside me.
So we were living the good life and just having so much fun, but we were definitely drinking and doing other stuff, you know, in excess, but kind of managing it. We would go away on the weekends, but then be with the kids. You know, so it was almost like two different lives, but for a while, I thought that I had it under control and it never dawned on me at that time that my drinking wasn’t okay until my drinking wasn’t okay.
And that was a pretty quick switch. So I tried to get sober. I tried to get sober. I tried to quit on my own. We pull the geographic. I had done some stuff in the town we were living in that I just wasn’t proud of. And so we moved two weeks, almost got divorced. I mean, it was, we blew our lives up and I, I, I just wasn’t doing well Real Housewives Get Sober
And then I had a miscarriage and I was self-medicating with alcohol. And that sent me crashing. And I think everyone in my life at that point knew I wasn’t okay. My friends, my husband, my mother, Real Housewives Get Sober I was pushing people away. I was drinking at home alone hiding alcohol. And that was my first attempt at recovery.
Jacob was about four. So 2010, I went to AA. I moved again and pulled another geographic. Cause I liked to run from my problems that, you know, at least I used to, we moved to Miami and it stuck for about nine months. Real Housewives Get Sober And then I was like, I’m fine. It was, you know, I lost a baby. You’re fine. And honestly, it just, it, it was from that point, it was a cycle.
And then I hit bottom again. I got to a point where I couldn’t pick my kids up from school. I had to call for help from a girlfriend. And I went and did something, which, and whatever anyone’s sobriety journey is, is there. So I know this isn’t for everyone, but I went and did ibogaine in Mexico. I don’t know if you’ve heard of that, but, that did help me because I had tried in and out of AA looking back, I wasn’t really.
I didn’t want what they had. I wasn’t working the program, honestly. I wasn’t giving it up to a higher power. I do work a 12-step program. Once again, whatever works for you. That currently works for me, but I wasn’t doing it honestly. I really wasn’t taking inventory at the time. So I went and did, I began down in Mexico and it did, it helped with the cravings, but instead of doing the work that comes after I got pregnant.
So, and then I had four babies and like between 2012 and 2014, I had twins and then another baby, then another baby. Boom, boom, boom. And I really wasn’t focused on being sober. I wasn’t going, I wasn’t working a program. I was just pregnant. And I sort of looking back, I was deflecting all of my attic behaviors onto procreating onto decorating of a shopping for baby stuff.
I wasn’t dealing with the root cause. And then I got a job, you know, my first job in 18 years and I was filming a TV show, which if anyone’s familiar with real Housewives, alcohol was a big proponent. There’s a lot of drinks. I weaned my final baby Hazel for the show. And I thought I’m fine. I haven’t had a drink in seven years.
I’m definitely not an alcoholic. Everyone was wrong before I was just, and then fill in the blank. You know, I was depressed. I was bored. I was blah-blah-blah, you know, I gave myself whatever excuses that I think we all give ourselves before. We’re ready to admit that we have to stop drinking because I to, I would do anything or be anything besides someone that couldn’t drink.
So I started filming the show and what my drinking blew up. And so a lot of the things that people saw on that season, my first season was very edited. I got a great at it. They took a lot out, but I was on some of these trips. I had a bottle of tequila in my bag and it wasn’t pretty. And when the show stopped filming, I did not stop drinking and I would hit these pretty bad bottoms.
And then. You know, take a few weeks off. Okay. You’re fine. See, you’re fine. I came up with all the rules that I have done before, you know, only drink on the weekends. Don’t drink till left. Your five only don’t drink hard alcohol. You know, like now that I’ve read the big book for real, I’m like, oh my God, I’m such a cliche.
So then we get to a point where I’m hiding alcohol, I’m drinking kind of around the clock. I had gone to, and, and with all of this, I’m now on a television show and I’m starting to get people into my life that probably don’t have my best interest at heart that want to be on the show themselves and are feeding my ego telling me I’m okay.
And really just co-signing my drinking, the people that were concerned about. My husband, you know, he has his own story to tell, but he was worried, but he was more worried about what I would do if he pushed me too. So he’s, he is very codependent in enabling me, the people that I’m now surrounding myself, my friends and I put that in parentheses because they were not, they were, you know, hangar honors are saying, I’m fine and I’m going, I’m going down fast.
And it kind of all blew up. And a weekend in Miami. And I had made some rules for myself that I crossed, you know, I had some outside issues that I said I would never do again. And lo and behold, I, you know, it wasn’t just drinking. I made, I did things that I swore I would never do again. As a mother, I walked into, we were in a, we were in a suite and Sean was in a different room and this was day four, that trip.
And I hadn’t left the hotel room in two days cause I was drinking so much. Could it enjoy Miami. I was just drinking and I had that moment of clarity that God shot moment. You need help. And I walked into him and I said, I can’t do this anymore. I need help. I can’t stop drinking. And he sat on me literally.
To keep me from drinking. Cause I was shaking so bad and I do want to say this and I say this in whenever I talk about this, I did not know you could die from detoxing. I didn’t know you could have seizures. I didn’t know that no one should do what I did. You should never detox on your own in a hotel room or on an airplane.
That was a very, very dangerous choice. Besides me in a very awful choice. It was a very dangerous choice. But I think for me, the real, the realization is I had to get everything I ever wanted. The house, the husband, the kids, the job fame, the whatever external thing I had to get it all before I realized that what I was lacking, wasn’t external.
It was inside. It was, you know, a God-sized hole. And I had that moment of clarity in that hotel room in Miami. And that’s when I finally realized I am an alcoholic. I can’t drink, I can’t manage this anymore.
Lane: And that was 454 days ago,
Braunwyn: January 30th, 2020, which also, and I can’t not mention this. Wasn’t my 20 year wedding anniversary.
Lane: Incredible. You know, it’s, I’ve been sober a long time and I hear stories such as yours as mine, the deceit that we have, the people that we surround ourselves with, it’s so dishonest and we don’t see. I see this so often and even in recovery, right. We get into our sober life and we start living and we can still be dishonest with ourselves.
We can still put people around us that co-sign are bullshit. So it’s, I like that you talked about this inner work and it took you a while. It took you like 12 years or so to get to that place where you were ready to look at the. Yes. Right. And what you just said, like you got everything, everything, and it wasn’t enough.
And that I think is so common for women for alcoholics. And again, I see this all the time and I hear about it and I. Been through this as myself. And this is the perfect place for me to drop in and invite you to check out the calm life program for every mother in recovery. This is a program dedicated to unleashing your.
Calm warrior. That’s right. You’re going to learn how to let go of guilt and shame of not doing enough. You’re going to learn how to increase your lifespan. You’re going to learn how to say no without feeling guilty. The calm life program dedicated for every mother in recovery. I hope you go check it out.
Get on the wait list. Find out more at recover. Dot com forward slash calm life program. Let’s get back into the show. I want to get to your kiddos and being on that vacation, you’re on a vacation with them at the hotel.
Braunwyn: No, they were not there. It was an adult birthday party for a coworker. Okay, got
Lane: it. So what are your kids seeing and thinking as you’re going through this process of drinking, giving up?
You know, trying to be sober, not w what are they watching and saying, or
Braunwyn: feeling? So my children are into kind of, we call them the bigs and the littles. We have a very big group, so I have 2018 and 16. So those are the bigs. And then the littles are 8, 8, 6, and three. So the. It’s a, it’s a different they have.
So they had two different stories. So the big scene, we tried to get sober a few times. They have seen me blackout drunk on the floor. They have seen me go to, you know, the county psych ward, because I was suicidal from drinking. The bigs have seen all that. My oldest Bella took on the role of caretaker when I was drinking.
And when they were little, she was. And this is from her because I don’t remember it. She, when I would get really bad would take them and go play with them downstairs and keep them safe and keep them away from me. So their stories and what they have seen is very, very different. I have to mention that none of my older three children drink isn’t that something, they are all scared of it.
When I started drinking this last time, because I’d had a seven year break. So when I started drinking that last time they were saying. You know, they didn’t tell me at the time that they were scared, but they were worried about me and you know, I’m passing now and it was hard for them. It was hard cause they know I have a problem and they had been through it before and it was triggering to them.
Lane: Do they believe that this sobriety is sticking? They
Braunwyn: do. Why is that? Something is different and I think they can feel it this time. I feel it this time I have run out of ways. To drink now. And cause I have, like I said, I had to try every way to drink before I realized I can’t. And I, I think for me knowing that I never have to drink again, it’s such a weight off my shoulders.
I don’t ever have to drink again, feels so good. And they see me working in the program. They, they know this is a big part of my life.
Lane: Have you had a heart to heart with Bella or has Bella said anything
Braunwyn: to you? I have had heart to hearts with all of my kids age appropriately, obviously what I say to my three-year-old and my 20 year old are very different.
I have, and I have, I’ve had to thank her and apologize to her. Bella is much more closed off than my other two kids Rowan and Jacob, we. They’re much more open. So the conversations with Bella have been it’s fine. It’s okay. You know, she doesn’t like to talk about it and I have to respect that, but I have thanked her and I have, you know, apologized.
I’m definitely making, living amends to the older ones. Luckily the little ones, not that my drinking wasn’t bad, but it was, you know, they had to deal with it for about four months. It was probably bad where mommy was drinking too much and going, going to bed early. W my amends to them are not as great as they are to the older ones.
You know, like I said, with the little one to living an amends, they know I go to meetings, we talk about being an alcoholic, just like we talk about anything else in our house. You know, mental illness is, is not stigmatized in our family. So. I talk about it. Just like I talk about having blonde hair, because I grew up in a family where my dad died from it and my aunt suffers from it still, you know, and we never spoke about it.
Lane: Oh, it’s common to not talk about it. It’s a secret it’s shameful, right? It, Nope. It’s like, whew, that can’t be happening to us.
Braunwyn: That’s it was so important for me to talk about it on the show. So I called my producer. Yeah. I was like four days sober. And I had talked to someone else that has a similar job.
And she said, you need to be accountable. You’re gonna, you know, if you want to stay sober, you have to be accountable. And I, you know, that’s why I was like, I want to do this, honestly, because.
Lane: I believe you. I mean, you had already tried to get sober once, so did they believe you to the producer? The show?
Braunwyn: Well, they didn’t know any of that. Cause I had kept all of that from everyone, so, oh yeah. Oh yeah. They believed me, I think. Cause I had called them so broken and so whatever, I think 100% anyone that had watched. People that viewed the show got a very watered down version of what was actually occurring.
I don’t think they questioned for a minute that I had a problem with drinking. They were like, oh honey, we know, you know, like they had to beg for me to be on airplanes. They, the. And I’ve made amends to many of the people I’ve worked with the situations that I put, the people I worked within were not okay.
So I think they were like, yeah, we know we’re so glad, you know, too.
Lane: Thanks. We’re so glad. Yeah. We’re so, right. So, and so now on the show, you’re sober. Yeah.
Braunwyn: Living your life.
Lane: And as sobriety has kicked in and you’ve had to do this emotional work because really, I mean people, so a you’re in the public eye being sober.
Yeah. Which is, can be stressful. I’ve seen a lot of celebrities have issues with this. Do you feel that pressure?
Braunwyn: Absolutely. But not necessarily in a bad way. There have been very low moment. Where that has been part of what’s kept me sober was I didn’t want to let people down. That’s not what keeps me sober, you know, obviously working my program does, but there have been moments where that did.
I do think it’s really important to also, you know, I talked about this when I was watching the Demi Lovato thing, not to put anyone in sobriety on a pedestal, you know, we’re only so referred to do. And it’s very important not to be too to realize that anyone in recovery is only sober for today and to give them that grace.Real Housewives Get Sober
So yes and no, but in a way, it has been a blessing of sorts. Yeah.
Lane: So interesting. We’re in this new era of sobriety. And it’s, it’s new for me because I’ve been sober so long where it was very hush, hush. You’re not going to talk about your sobriety in a public arena. And if you do, it was kind of shame on you.
So it’s been really incredible to see people come out and talk about their recovery and to share about the recovery and not to be like, Hey, look at me, but to say, Hey, look at me. It’s okay to get sober. Right. It’s okay to stop drinking. It’s okay. To not have to be throwing up or sleeping with your best friend’s husband or like it’s.
It’s okay to say. Right. So,
Braunwyn: yeah, it’s important too, to have those role models, because I don’t know if you ever did this when you were drinking. Did you ever say, for me, it’s like, well, I’m not like my dad, I’m going to have a solid or I still have a job or I made it to orange theory today. So I can’t be an alcoholic.
So I think it’s also important to be like, hi, you know, my life on the outside was pretty great. I still work out and functional, but I’m still on alcohol. This is what alcohol, it looks like alcohol alcoholics can wear a gown and. It’s not some shady man in the alleyway, you know? Yeah.
Lane: That that’s, that’s it right there is that my alcoholism me, I represent, I represent a mother, you know, with a neurodivergent child and I have a great life, but I am riddled with alcoholism.
If I am not doing this internal work that’s required. To stay sober. A lot of people talk about like, just giving up alcohol and then I see them really angry, miserable. Do you think, you know, you went through this kind of, this process of putting down you, you jumped into that mutual aid, you tried to get sober, but you said you weren’t doing this insight work.
So what does that inside work look like for you?
Braunwyn: For me, it was. Humility and acceptance. I went to that first AA meeting, not on purpose. The story that got me there is actually so funny now looking back, but I had been filming that day and I was trying to kick everyone out of my house to go Drake. I mean, that was truly what I was doing.
And long story short, my, they wouldn’t leave and lately they don’t have to, you know, and so. You know, F you, I’m going to go to an AA meeting cause you can’t follow me there. Ha ha. And they got in the car that one of the producers with like a handheld got in the car with me. So we go to the meeting and I’m, I am, I’m angry.
I am mad. And we get in there, Sean, can’t find parking so that my, my producer says, Hey, do you want me to go in with you? And I’m like, yes, because now I have to go to an AA meeting that I wasn’t. I was planning on going to like the little house across the street. So I walk in and we’re going around the room and he says, my name is so-and-so and I’m an alcoholic.
And all the fight in me, I realized in that moment, he wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He was trying to save my life. And I just looked at him and I started crying and I was like, oh my God, this is what it took to get me here. And I sat through that meeting. There was a woman I knew from my town that I never would have thought was an alcoholic pillar in the community.Real Housewives Get Sober
And. I was humbled. I was broken and I was willing and I always thought I knew better. You know, I knew you, whatever work well, that’s not gonna work for me. How your powered that’s stupid. You know, I’m, I know what’s best for me. And I just had that moment of whatever I know is wrong and I was willing. And that was the first time I had the willingness to accept another way that wasn’t my own.
I took it in and I didn’t need to be right. And I didn’t need to be better. I just needed to shut up and listen. And I, I, it took me a little while to get a sponsor and everything, because this was two weeks before everything shut down. So I had only gone to about, I would say maybe I was, I was working full time, so I had only made it to about maybe five in-person meetings, six maybe before everything should be.
Lane: Every alcoholic. I know, I think has this arrogance. Yeah, it’s really, I love it. I mean, it really gets us far in life, you know, and when I see it, I can identify it and I’m like, yes. And I think there’s something about that, you know, I know what’s best. It takes us for a long ride and then suddenly we don’t.
We stopped knowing what’s best for us. And I, I just had this visual of you in this meeting and the tears coming down and having that moment of, I don’t know what I don’t know anymore. I don’t know. And you don’t know until you don’t. And then you’re like, oh, what do I do? And that humility, right? That is what is required.
It’s that it’s coming to that acceptance. And it’s a deep place. I see. So many women fight that. I can figure this out. I can figure this out. And that is, that’s the issue right there. I can figure this out. There’s no figuring it out. I don’t think it’s, it is really what you just said that acceptance in the humility of saying the gig is up.
I need help. And so when you are in that room or surrounded by you have new people, I’m assuming. Yeah.
Braunwyn: I mean, I do not. Everyone is new. Like I do have a lot of good people still in my life that, you know, like Mo a lot of my friends aren’t problem drinkers, you know, like I do have no normal people, those fake friends that I got towards the end, those people are out of my life, my true friends, the real ones, the ones that I had been pushing away, those people are still here.
And so there’s been change there. Well, there’s been a lot of change in my life. Like a lot. So this has changed why I came out AF at 14 as I’m now. Like I’m dating women now. So not with your husband now. Oh, oh, you didn’t know any of this? I just assumed now this is what I love
Lane: about sober. Like, no, there is like an awakening, an awakening.
Braunwyn: Hi, I’m married, but I’m still married. So during quarantine, I’m working on my program, and I do find a sponsor. I’m an amazing sponsor. And we’re going through the resentments and we’re talking. And like, most of it was towards my husband. Like all of it. I mean, not all of it. And let me just say this, I’m going back and redoing my steps right now because I first attempted them.
When I look back, I was like, oh honey, that was like some petty, all your fault. Bullshit. Like. I have calmed down enough, to know that I need to redo them. Honestly, I was still kind of lashing out a little bit at the time, but you know, it is what it is. And I, I do someone once said to me, what would I turn one year sober?
Real Housewives Get Sober
Okay. Now let the real work begin. And I definitely am feeling that now. Okay. Now I actually can start doing the real work that was survival. This is maintenance, but yeah, so I was going through my, you know, Real Housewives Get Sober my resentments and doing all this. And a lot of the stuff that was coming up was towards Sean and my sexuality.
And I think like towards the, she was like, honey, I think you’re gay. And I’m like, I know
Lane: right with this, like an aha moment. It, it
Braunwyn: was, it it, ’cause I always knew I was attracted to women. I just assumed I was bisexual, but. So keep in mind during quarantine, I’m sober, and I’m working the steps 45 days into quarantine.
So maybe about 75 days sober give or take. I almost relapsed. And I called my good friend. She has been in the program for 22 years. She came over and we quarantined together and our friendship became more than a friendship and it wasn’t physical. Real Housewives Get Sober Real Housewives Get Sober It was emotional. But meanwhile, I’m talking to my sponsor about all this. Real Housewives Get Sober
So, so here’s so okay. And I can’t, it’s just, it was so much, so I’m falling in love with my best friend. My husband is obviously aware of this, so he has an extramarital affair. I kick him out. I’m having feelings for this person. Then my daughter, one of my children is bipolar. She has some really serious issues that she’s going through.
Sean comes back home. We realized that. No matter what’s going on with us. We need to be United front as parents. This is all during the global pandemic. I’m staying sober. I’m going to meetings right now, two or three times a day because I am barely holding on to sanity and I’m still feeling
Lane: there’s. So there are so many, the emotional roller coaster is real and.
The fact that you had somebody that you could call and connect with deeply is I call that a higher power, honestly, like it is so divinely inspired that you can’t make this up. Right.
Braunwyn: Want me to work? Like you couldn’t make this up. And she was like, chop wood, carry water. I would start to spiral and she’d be like, Nope.
And we’d go through the steps. One, two, and three. 20 times a day sometimes. And then she would literally like, Hey, we’re going out on the beach. We’re gonna pick up trash. I’m like, okay. And I would just, okay, okay. You know, we would volunteer. She, she got me starting things. She’s like, you need to be proactive.
I’m doing the zoom meetings. Like I said, during the pandemic, I would do three a day sometimes. But so all of this is coming up and I’m staying sober, which I don’t even know at that point, how that’s happening. It’s
Lane: happening with this higher power, but yeah, that’s, what’s happening. It’s happening because you have tapped into a source that’s greater than you greater than you.
You, you put your hands up and said, this is I’m done. And you allow that source to come through you and show up in people.
Braunwyn: And that, and that’s an important thing I want. Cause I know a lot of people when they go to these things, they’re like, I’m not religious. I don’t believe in God. I have my higher power.
Are the people in that room? And the more I show up, the more, my higher power grows and becomes bigger because there’s been some things that have happened that are bigger than just people, but that’s all I needed in the beginning was my higher power. Was everyone in that room. And I see how it’s changing and growing now because there’s some things don’t make sense.
It never makes sense. I mean, like in our, if it’s just people, I don’t even know how to describe this. It’s bigger than humans in a way. That’s a good way to describe it, but I didn’t need to believe that in the beginning, I just needed to believe in the power of that, of that group, of, of people trying to get sober.
Lane: And so you’re now with this, you have a new. Or no Footloose and fancy
Braunwyn: free I’m dating right now. I mean, I’m, I’m having fun. I’m having fun, Sean and I still live together. Okay. So we’re in different rooms. We are best friends. We are family. We are co-parenting. We are figuring out what works for us right now in an open, honest way.
And how is Bella
Lane: taking this? She hates it. Yeah. Well, I mean, you have to think about. Like you are evolving
Braunwyn: fire. Yes. So Bella is having the hardest time she doesn’t live here. She has a boyfriend and she comes over all the time to visit they’re five minutes away. She doesn’t really want to talk about it, which is how she, she is Rowan.
And Jacob, we talk about everything, you know, they’re very, they’re very open about it. The little kids, once again, age appropriately, they know that mommy has some new friends.
Lane: I think that’s really beautiful. And that’s why we get this opportunity in recovery to explore the possibilities right before there were no possibilities.
Real Housewives Get Sober No, the possibility was reaching for the drink. That was it. It was chain cuffed around right there weren’t any other options. So I think this is really, I think it’s a magical experience. So when I got sober, Real Housewives Get Sober I was dating women exclusively way, way gay, way gay. I’m now married to a man and I found in recovery, like that’s what happened, right?
No joke. It’s like, that’s not what I planned at all. So you don’t, you don’t know. Right. Again, open, open to possibilities. That the gift of recovery is being awake
Braunwyn: and isn’t it so nice too, like, I think one of the things is, you know, I went through so much of my life just quietly numbing out. And even if I wasn’t drinking, I was shopping or planning a trip, or planning a party. Real Housewives Get Sober
But, you know, I definitely had so many different ways that I numbed out and. When you stopped drinking and start getting sober and you stop numbing out, you realize that you just don’t have to be a little bit miserable anymore. You know, like you can sit in the uncomfortable and then you can create this beautiful life.
If you had told me a year ago, the things that would be happening in my life right now, I would not have believed you. I mean, things that I’ve been able to do. Yeah. That’s not, I mean, Yeah. Sobriety is such a beautiful gift. It’s sobriety there, and there are two different things and I don’t think you realize it until you, till you feel it.
Do you want to drink again? No, I never want to drink again. I truly hope one day at a time working a program. I never drink again.
Lane: What do you, what are your, what’s your daily practice like?
Braunwyn: I mean things I do every day, I wake up, obviously I have seven kids, six of which are still at home. So my mornings are, I wish I could say I woke up and meditated, but I don’t, I don’t do that.
I wake up, I drink coffee, I throw on a bathrobe and you know, I try to get the kids out the door in time for school. That’s the truth. You’re not hung over. Yeah. I’m not hungover. You know, like I try not to be late for, we try not to be late for school, but once the kids go. Then I work out every day. I work out for about an hour and a half.
I have a dim in my home, so I’m very blessed that I have that. And then I end my workouts, you know, I do yoga. And then I do about a five to 10-minute meditation. When I first started, I did a 32nd meditation because this is painful, my brain couldn’t and I’ve just slowly, I didn’t pressure myself. I just was like, okay, every day, just do it for as long as you can. Real Housewives Get Sober
And then. A big part for me has been giving back what can I do in the beginning almost to a fault that became my new addiction, you know, but I’ve started amplified voices, which is, I’m really proud of what that amplify voices? It’s my IgE TV channel, where I get to interview other people. I did during transgender awareness week, you know, people in the transgender community, Real Housewives Get Sober people in the LGBTQ plus community, a big part of it was during black lives matter where I turned my platform over to, you know, people of color to share their stories.Real Housewives Get Sober
It’s just a way, I think for sharing stories on a very personal level, I think that representation matters. I share a lot of sobriety stories, a lot of people that have gotten sober because I think the more you see people and you can relate to them and de-stigmatize them and get to know them, it helps break down barriers.
That has been a passionate thing. And then another thing I did was during quarantine, I was talking to my friend that helped me and I would say to everyone, AA meeting, even if you’re not an alcoholic, everyone needs this community support. It’s like, well, why don’t you start one? I was like, that’s a great idea.
So I started doing mental health tombs once a month, where we have different speakers and different topics in the mental health world and to, you know, round table sharing and everyone gets a chance to, and it’s just kind of building that community of support and not stigmatizing. All the things around mental health have been such a blessing for me. Real Housewives Get Sober
And then I went back to school like Tina I’m 48. I haven’t been in school since 96. Real Housewives Get Sober So do the math. Real Housewives Get Sober It’s been a, been a few years. I definitely know. I didn’t have a computer the last time I was in school and I went back to school and which has been a struggle and out of my comfort zone, but I really want to, you know, go back to be a drug and alcohol rehabilitation.
I know it’s cliche for every sober person. And I
Lane: mean, your journey is so beautiful as every, every mother has a beautiful journey. I love that you’re so invested in giving back and creating community and supporting, and being present for your kids, being open and available for them. Real Housewives Get Sober I would love to invite our listeners to follow you.
Where can. Where can they hang out with you and where can they, the amplified awareness, the voices, where are they going to go? Run on?
Braunwyn: My Instagram is my name, Ron win-wins. One name pretty much everything is on there. I have grown one Dr. Mom, where we post a lot of information. The amplified voices is always on my Instagram.
It’s on my iTunes movie. And if you have a chance, we recently did a takeover Thursday and my friend Maria had some really beautiful stories that. A friend shared in the black community that I think everyone should check out because I think we always are learning and growing, whether it be about racial issues or social justice or addiction, you know, we always have room to grow.
So, and there are some really amazing addiction story on there to check out. I have been blessed and I think we all are in recovery. If you ask receipt, we all show up for each other. Once you get sober, you never have to be alone Real Housewives Get Sober
Lane: again. Never, never. The best Bronwyn, thank you so much for hanging out today with our listeners, me and sharing the gift of recovery.
And I can’t wait to
Braunwyn: see you on the clubhouse
Lane: soon. Thank you so much, mama. May you find something rich, something delicious, something bright and juicy that fills you up so you can be the best moment you can be. Take good care. What an incredible episode. Bronwyn is a bundle of joy. I loved hanging out with her.
We’ll make sure that you follow her on all
Braunwyn: her social and make sure that you check out the call life
Lane: program, where I’m going to teach you how to.
Braunwyn: Respond to life’s little agitations.
Lane: Like when your partner doesn’t do the dishes
Braunwyn: or how to sleep deeply and improve the quality of your life and how to let go of guilt, because perhaps you’re not doing enough.
Lane: All of it in the calm life program, check it out, recover like a mother.com forward slash calm life program. I’ll see you there. Thanks again for listening.