Lately I’ve been thinking about friends. I remember back in high school, near graduation time, a girl named Lisa Laloggia telling me that this would be the only time that I would have this amount of friends and to be grateful for them… What? Grateful? I had no idea what she was talking about, nor did I really care at the time. I was on my way to fame, fortune, getting the hell out of that town, and never to see those people, again….
Fast forward to a high school reunion that I attended ten years later, ahhhhh, misery surrounded me. Everyone had babies, or married their high school sweetheart, had not left the town, and was what I thought at the time merely living to exist in a family. My personal worst nightmare. Although there were a few that had managed to gain success, graduate college, and get the heck out of dodge…yeah for them, yeah for me.
Success! During this time, I built fast friends, stayed out late, traveled the globe, drank fancy drinks with tiny pink plastic monkeys hanging from them, and ate exotic fare. Constantly on the go, and the hustle, I never made time to really connect, or gain friendships that would surround my life. Looking back now, it was a wild run, and albeit one that I don’t regret, I often wonder about the lives of those from high school, did they have the opportunity to LIVE?
Fast forward to now… OMG. I have a baby, a husband, a family. What? I am Confused on how to live and how to share my life. I’ve only had practice as a jet setting individual, not as a mom, not as a community member, or a workout partner, or a member in the latest book club. No. I never had time to be in a life that looked like that, and now… I am forced to see things differently, to be with others and to truly ask for help from MOMs who have walked before me. Motherhood is quite possibly the single most challenging event to come into my life, and I am clueless.
I sit and think about the many lives that I have come across, touched, been a part of and have silently walked away from for better of for worse. My definition of friendship evolves as I gain new perspective into parenthood. I need friends, I need friends for sanity sake. I began this blog, partly for a sense of understanding, to empty the cruel thoughts that may be hiding in the depths of my parenting mind… to shine light on my defeat, to ask for help when needed, and to accept my place in the world as a mom, wife and entrepreneur. Friends that I have now understand this, they understand me, they understand parenting. This is all I ever needed: a true understanding. Finally I’ve made it.