Last Friday I took a personal day… a leave of absence so to speak, or you could call it a mental health day. I was sick of it, all of it. Fortunately for me I have a wonderful friend who came to my house and gathered me and my bag for an overnight respite. She asked me on the way out of the city what I wanted to do, if there was somewhere I wanted to go, or if I’d like to just go rest. Now, first I thought, oh this will be perfect I will get so much done, I can work, work, work… then what came out of my mouth was entirely different. “I want to sit.” She took me to her beautiful home, yeah. I began to melt, I unpacked. I sat. And then the little screaming bug went off in my head, YOU have to get stuff done, there is so much to do… and up and out came my computer, my paperwork, pen, iPad… I began. The results, nothing to my satisfaction, so I quit! I retired at 4:00.
The rest of the day was pleasant I felt the blood coming back into my face, the corners of my mouth began to perk up and my shoulders began to fall, at least a half-inch. I didn’t have much to say, which for me is rare, but my tank as they say was empty. I drank more water. We got in her cute little green VW bug and went for a drive and watched the sun begin to settle down this side of the planet. Beautiful. Breathing. I began breathing again, full breaths, down to the bottom of my lungs, and my shoulders had fallen another half-inch. By nightfall, and after eating a perfectly cooked streak from the grill, I indulged in my favorite treat… peanut M&Ms! Life at that moment, perfect. I could barely carry a conversation, as my mind began shutting down on me, so I retired to the bed! I don’t even remember putting my pajamas on or taking the pillows down, did I say I was tired? I think I was more exhausted at that moment, then when I encountered sleep exhaustion from when my son was an infant. I slept peacefully.
On awakening, I pulled my yoga mat and did my usual routine which brought me a full smile. My shoulders at this point back to resting position. My stomach was no longer tied in knots either. YEAH!
Later that afternoon when my son, and husband came to get me, I ran to see them. Let me say that again, I ran to see them! I was excited. Happy. And I was suddenly reminded of what is important, and why I have a family, and why I do this life that I do. I realize that at any point, we as moms can make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives, and when slammed against the wall, we, me, I can make decisions that don’t make sense to me or anyone else, but they can be made in an instant of insanity. Those moments are real. Those moments are the ones we, me, I have to beat… I have to take these mental health days, I must have these days off… I love my husband, and my son… and I certainly don’t want to make a dreadful decision in the exhaustion. Moms, I think we should have a once a month mandatory day off, what do you think?
Today is Monday, and I can successfully face the world, my shoulders are relaxed, I’m breathing, and my stomach is back to normal… oh what a wonderful adventure being a mom!