realizing why I was sick

Elias was at work… and I was left with my thinking mind… (Trouble!) thinking, when oh when is that, “time going to hit”.  That time being, the monthly cycyle.  Which most women dread, but for me, considering that over the past ten years it’s been a battle of immunity challenges I love it.  A true battle of time, hormones and the such has kept me very active.  After researching, taking blood tests, reading, eating only fruits, eliminating meat, (only for a short time) taking certain vitamins, I finally discovered a doctor that dealt with exactly my challenges, she placed me on bio-identical hormones… yes both progesterone, and estrogen.  My system had about zero…  Not only did my hair stop falling out, but my skin started to look better, my mood was much better and yes the monthly affair began to show itself… well not every month but at least I was once again beginning to feel as though I was actually a part of the female species.

Back to Elias being at work and my thinking mind…  When? Two nights prior we were at the video store and there were these very green, (Green like space men from Mars) large pickles sitting at the register as we renting our videos.  I HAD to have one!  HAD TO!  Now let’s talk about the pickle, not everyday does someone eat a pickle like this, get the visual: it sits individually among about twenty in their airtight sealed packaging, waiting to be purchased.  I am sure that they sit there for months.  I have never seen anyone purchase or eat one of these pickles.  BUT that night, I had to have the pickle!  I opened it before we even got home.  It was so satisfying and made me smile.  Delicious.  I ate it all in less then 2 minutes.  After getting home I wanted to follow the pickle with something sweet and creamy, which we usually don’t have in the house, as we don’t really eat ice cream, unless of course Elias is in his creative zone…  Nothing.  I paced the house and the craving passed, as I was forced to sit down and watch “Hell’s Kitchen” with Gordon Ramsey.

The next day I woke up again not wanting coffee, now this is an oddity, as I Lane Kennedy love coffee, especially Blue Bottle coffee which we had.  But on this day NO!   There were days prior to this that I turned my  nose up at the coffee as well, again strange… I just wasn’t feeling it.

The nauseous feeling hit me again, I drank water.  I had now been living with this upset stomach everyday for about four noticeable weeks.  It would sneak up on me around 11 maybe noon.  Today was no different.

I waited for the phone to ring, my doctor was suppose to call me with results of the most recent blood test that I had gone in for, as I worried about my hormone levels.  No phone call.  I panicked by 11:30 with my thinking mind.  Then suddenly the thought came to me, Lane you’re pregnant.  I was on the toilet.  My brow furrowed, confused.  Within seconds, and total assurance I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.  My destination: Walgreen’s for one on those tests.  I entered Walgreen’s not even knowing where to look, I asked the pharmacist, he pointed, over there.  And over there I went to the case of tests.  Totally overwhelmed, there are at least 30 different test one can take.  Which one will give me the exact answer, the solution, the results that I am looking for.  I can’t be pregnant… CAN I?