gooo gooo gaa ga

As the days stroll by I am more crazy for my kid then the day before, and I’m more crazy for my husband as well, who would have ever thought?  Yes, who would have ever thought that me, “L….” would be A. Married, B. With Child, and C. Extremely Thrilled almost Every Fricking Day!

I woke up this morning, as usual with the normal, “whhhhaaa, uhhhh, goooo, ahhhh” I will translate for you, “Mom, where the heck are you, I’m ready for the booby!”  With eyes still shut I appear in his room, and change his soaking diaper, and then we carry on to our normal routine, that is for the weekend.  We head back into my room, to be with dad…  and we snuggle, and he pokes, and wiggles and giggles, waiting for his prize possession the booby!  I can’t help myself but smile.  Now being nine months into this journey I feel as confident as a mama lion with her cubs on the safari when it comes to nursing these days.  It is nothing like it use to be in the beginning…

We lay there peacefully in bed, dad breaths heavily, he is sleeping, and the little one well, he looks into my eyes, and then, there it is, the melt.  I melt.  As a woman who always had the capacity to understand peoples commentary, I never quite understood when a friend of mine in LA said, “Oh, you will never be the same after you have the experience of nursing… he will look into your eyes and you will never be the same…blah blah blah…”  NOW I GET IT!!!!  I’m going gooo gooo gaa ga.  I’m truly mad for my son.  NO not mad as in lock me up, mad as in deep, crazy, WOW… LOVE. 

Today he didn’t fall back a sleep with me, no instead he laughed… and wanted to play, so we played.  We laughed, daddy woke up, the blinds came up at 7am, a new day!  The day was playful and peaceful and for a moment I got upset when he didn’t want to eat his overly creamy oatmeal, and then I remembered that ultimately he is in charge, and when I have that moment to surrender to him, and we meet eye to eye, all is good in the world.  Life is sweet.