I wanted to stop, I decided to stop, I said I’m done… and told my son, we were done… NO More Milk. The first day I woke and it was easy. I escaped the house early not to disturb his sleep, and the ritual of the snuggle that we had indulged in for months. I came home to a happy baby, who of course asked for milk, and I said, no milk baby. He quickly went on his way playing with the Cookie Monster puppet. I had eluded his first request, yeah! The night came and my set of milk bottles began to ache… I didn’t think this was going to happen, I didn’t realize that I had enough milk to fill up… crap. I know that if I pump they will keep producing, if there is no pumping then I’m in pain. I stand at my bathroom sink and contemplate what other mommies have told me they have done… gently release. AHHH NO, just the thought of that is not right. I wait a minute, the boobies are aching, I squeeze them a bit, ahhh relief. I able to sleep!
The next morning he wakes early, teething. OH NO! Crying his big tears, with his little voice, milk mama, milk mama. I have to leave, I run into the shower. The day was long and challenging but we made it, by nightfall I’m plump like farm fresh watermelons! Ouch.
Day three, I can do it, I can make this happen, but… my boobies are huge. Pain. My husband says, you can do it, he doesn’t need it, you are doing great. He leaves for the gym. I look at my son and ask him if he wants milk… the smile on his face tells more than words can express, and I hope that I never forget it! We get ourselves situated up on the bed, I look at him and tell him that this is only a treat and that I need a little help, he smiles and lowers my shirt. Quickly latches on, sip, sip, sip, releases, smiles, covers my breast, and says byeeee. WHAT? I think is that it? I ask him if he wants any from the other side, he climbs up, lowers my shirt, latches, sip, sip, sip, covers and waves byeeee. I smile. Three sips, six total, that’s it? I’m baffled but okay. Now I know in my heart that he is indeed done, and I’m feeling good about our ending. It’s a lot better than me saying this is it! I’m sad, yes, but now feeling relief that he too seems to be done, and is okay…
until next time.