All I think about is being a mom, being a mom to my son, how he should eat, what he should wear, how much sleep he should be getting in a day, and how to not lose it! Then I began to think, OH shit, I have a husband, I need to be a wife too! CRAP.
Totally overwhelmed by this, seriously! I see these other moms at the park, and they have their hair done, manicures, pedicures, even nice clean outfits on without any stains… I am not of that variety. I now have stains on everything I own, I haven’t had a manicure in over a six months, the last pedicure I managed to get was about three months ago, and well my hair is a battle everyday. I have not had the same blonde hair that I had before pregnancy, it’s been a total disaster. What is sexy about this? Nothing, absolutely nothing! The thought of having to wear heels with a 35 lb weight on my hip does not excite me either. My husband smiles at me and enthusiastically tells me that I can do it! Are you kidding me? I can barely get out of bed everyday, let alone put my hair up and smear lip-gloss on or mascara, then the heels? NO! I am not sure that men understand this, that they, to their core understand the demand that it takes to be a mom who is 120% available to their child. I don’t even think that I realized it until I was so far into that I’ve now sunk to the bottom of the dirty clothes pile.
What is sexy? This question popped into my head the other day and I thought I really needed to consider the topic now that I am a mom… and a wife. Being a wife for some reason has become number two on the list. Being a mom changes everything; the way I look, the way I feel, my wardrobe, the shoes, the mommy thoughts, the idea of being romantic, the idea of having sex, the care for my body, the desire to be sexy… It’s all too much. No one really sits you down and tells you the truth about the changes that occur while you are pregnant, or the fall out of birth and beyond. I guess for each person it’s so different, but are they? I have a hard time thinking that all of these moms at the park really have it all together and are being sexy mamas. Which again, brings me to the question of what is it to be a sexy mama? I think the easiest way for me to wrap my memory-less brain around it is to make a list of how I want to be a sexy mama, here goes:
- Messy hair
- Healthy body
- Clean feet
- Eyes that don’t fall asleep at 9pm
- A charming personality
- A stunning smile that I carry even when I’m alone
- I’m stumped…
- The ability to play in the dirt with my son
- Clothes that match and or fit me the right way
- Comfortable shoes
- Coiffed arches
- Stumped again…
I’m not sure this is sexy… hmmmm.
I guess I have to come back to my list at another date, maybe I’m just not ready to be a sexy mama… ?
until next time.