How can we stop the mommy wine culture? We talk about action steps in this episode!

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Mommy Wine Culture Has To Stop

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

Elizabeth: You know, I was always just really excited to get together with people and have a good time and want to have some drinks to, you know, unwind and relax. And I never meant for it to get to where it got to. Hi, I’m Elizabeth Winston and you’re listening to recover like a mother with myself and lane. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Lane: Welcome back, friend. How are you? I am again, excited to be with you and to spend time with you. And thank you for jumping on board with recovering like a mother. My name is Lynn Kennedy, and today I’m joined by Elizabeth we’re going to get into recovery today. We’re going to talk about her life. Her experience.

She is a mom of twins. Boom. Just going to say, that’s an experience right there. She lives in Chicago, another experience. I just know that I Chicago it’s cold. That’s all I think about. We’re going to get into her story. I want to say thank you again for joining and listening. Elizabeth. Welcome to the show.

Elizabeth: Thanks lane. Thrilled to be here.

Lane: When I heard that you were a mom of twins, I was like, oh, how does she do it? How do you do it?

Elizabeth: I don’t know, one day at a time. Right?

Lane: Absolutely. So let’s get in to your story and share, have your kids, did they know you drinking? Did they see you drinking? Let’s hear a little bit about your story and I’m going to be inquisitive and ask you insightful questions. I’m hoping so our listeners can understand your journey.

Elizabeth: Okay, well, thanks so much lane for, for having me. My backstory is that I was it was a very social drinker you know, drinking for me, look like, you know, possibly maybe having a couple of drinks on a Thursday, but really you know, I would for sure be socially drinking. Now looking back at it, probably more of like a social binge drink on a Friday or Saturday you know, Yes, my kids would see me drink when they were younger.

But again, it would be, you know, a few drinks here and there. Usually, after, you know, when they were little they would be in bed. So they wouldn’t really see, you know, if I had four wines and I was getting kind of sloppy or whatever they really wouldn’t see that fortunately. You know, there were a few instances where there was we were invited to go on a boat and they were little and I was beyond overserved and, you know they still remember that boat trip.

They don’t. But they’ve never really said it memory about me and how I put the shape I was in. But you know, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go I was always just really excited to get together with people and have a good time and want to have some drinks to, you know, unwind and relax. And I never meant for it to get to where it got to.

Lane: And so yeah, so where, okay. Let’s talk about wine culture and the mommy wine culture for just one minute. I can’t bypass that. Right. It’s it’s rampant. I see these. Oh gosh, please. This is no judgment, but I see the women, you know, I’m on Instagram. Let’s just, it is what it is. Everyone’s on Instagram.

It seems like. And there, you know, you scroll through and you know, the moms and the wine and it’s wine time. And what are you drinking tonight? And join my wine club and ha I wasn’t a part of that. So I like thank my friggin, you know, God, every day. How did you get through that? Or was that a part of your story? Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Elizabeth: I mean, I feel like it might’ve been. A huge part of my story. I’m so glad you brought that up. I actually have chills right now. I think that story makes a lot of us sick you think because it’s this culture and it’s wine o’clock or rose all day all that stuff, you know, you just think, oh, well, I’m just like that person.

Right. And it’s, it’s really promoted and encouraged. I mean, I just went to target the other night and. The mother’s day stuff. It was like Rosie all day on t-shirts and then they had alcohol lined up on the top. I mean, I was so pissed off I was just angry, you know, it was just like, this is what we’re teaching and modeling to our kids that this is normal.

Right. And, you know, For some moms, if they can’t have a couple of drinks, no problem. Good for them, you know? But when my kids were young, I was in a friend group where it was, you know, come over for a playgroup and there would be drinking, you know, like three in the afternoon. And I always, had to be really careful because I had to drive home with the kids and they were little at the time.

So I would like. You know, allow just two lines over like, you know, four hours and lots of water, but you know, the hostess wasn’t in, you know, half in the bag and then you see everybody else and you’re just like, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go I dunno, you just kind of, it just was very normalized. Right. And if you didn’t do it, it was like, well, what was wrong with you?

I mean, at the time I was training for a marathon and the so-called friends or a half marathon at that time. But regardless I was training and these women would bully me for not coming to these you know, mommy get-togethers, you know, like. Forget, you’re running, you know, you got to come and hang out with us. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

And it was because they were all drinking and, oh my God. I knew that, that there was a problem there and I had to be really, really careful. I’m fortunate that I never put us in a compromising position. I feel like there was one time though, where I did drive and I was like, Hmm. I don’t know if I should have been driving and my kids were little and, you know, I struggled with four years of infertility before having my kids.

So, you know, I’ve been praying and in doing everything to have these beautiful babies and, and, and I can’t screw this up, you know, so, yeah.

Lane: Oh, there’s so much right there, Elizabeth, and I just want to point out. If you’re a mom and you are struggling with infertility issues, I want to direct you back to episode eight and nine.

I have two beautiful souls talking about their journey with infertility and how related alcoholism is to fertility and how intertwined it is and how there is this surrender that has to happen in order to. Conceive. I don’t know how else to say it. But you just unpacked so much in talking about the mommy culture, mommy wine culture, and the Rosa all day.

 And, and you eloquently said I was pissed at target and it makes me think we need to ban target. We need to let them know that that’s not okay. We need to tell them that. Advertising around this culture is just it infuriates me and the bullying. I can’t even. So I remember when my son was you know, play sand time.

When, when are they in the sand? 18 months, two years in the sand, maybe three, you know two-ish. Yeah. And I remember one time, this mom, she had the tumbler, you know, the. The tumbler and she was talking to her girlfriend and she said do you want me to refill you? And I looked at her and I, I was, I was like Florida.

I’m like, what are you talking about? She’s like, I have a whole bottle of Rosa, Rosa Jose in my cooler, in my cooler. She goes, how do you think I get through these days? And she like, you know, clanked around her little tumbler. And at the time I just, I was so I was taken aback by it. Cause you know, I’m sober, I’m a sober mom at a playground getting through it, you know, minute by minute with a toddler and she’s just drinking away.

I was so resentful. I was like, what? And I said, you know what? I’m okay. And she gave me this look, I’ll never forget the look like really like, what’s wrong with you?

What’s in your cup, like it meet the shaming that happens in the mom community around not participating in this. I don’t even know what it’s called addictive behavior.

I mean, you have one, you can’t stop. You just keep going. And I was recently, I had the opportunity to. A mentor work coach, a woman in her young, young, I’m dating myself in her thirties with two little ones. And that was her story, you know, drinking wine every day. And I think when are people going to wake up to this and stand up and say enough is enough, like shame on you, alcohol companies?

Shame on you target. I’m saying that out loud I hope somebody at target listens to this.

Elizabeth: not okay. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, I love everything that you just said. And when I got sober and the longer I’ve been sober, I’m like this needs to change, you know, like you said, like our, the messaging is so screwed up, you know, and I think it gets very, very blurry.

Do I have a problem? Okay. I’m seeing it portrayed as rosy all day. Everyone’s pushing the alcohol and you know, for me you know, I compared myself, unfortunately, to a lot of other people, right? It’s like, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go This whole stigma of alcoholism or an alcoholic is like the, you know, the homeless person with the brown bag.

And like, that is really not true, obviously, it’s like, and then we compare ourselves to, well, you know, oh, well alcoholic drinks every day and it’s like, No, that’s not necessarily true either. And for a long time, I didn’t think I had a problem cause I didn’t drink every day. You know, I just drank on the weekends, but I would drink until probably most times I would black out, you know, especially towards the end.Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Didn’t know why, you know, oh, well I only had a couple of glasses of wine and why am I blacking out? You know, I could normally handle like four glasses and maybe then I would, but you know, now I’m having to, and I’m blacking out and I don’t remember things and may anxiety, right? All this stuff. But like that comparison of, well, I don’t drink like them and not drinking as much.

So I’m okay. Rosie all day, come on. Just have a drink. I mean, Helene. Like, it’s not just targeting. It’s like there have been complaints via Instagram to like the food network where, you know, they did stuff online and it was like, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go the only way to garden was to be drinking. And it’s just like, no, that’s why these moms, that’s why that mom said to you, like, oh, you’re able to live life without numbing.

Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

You know, and really knowing that you’re numbing. I mean, I didn’t really realize that like, oh, I can’t handle situations that have got to drink over it, you know? Cause I was sick and I think there just needs to be a lot of education with that. And I think companies need to be careful Tropicana got in trouble earlier.

I want to say this year, I don’t know if you had seen that. Tropicana did this whole campaign where it was little refrigerators for, in your closet for moms to have in their closet with champagne. So you could go hide in your closet and drink mimosas.

I mean, there was a huge backlash on that and I also messaged them. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go It’s like, we’ve got to be doing better. There’s a time and a place, but promoting, you know, that the only way to go to a park or the only way.

Yeah is with alcohol. I think everybody needs to kind of like sit back and

kids like, you know, going out to eat, like, you know what, they can have ice cream, they can have a Shirley temple. Nobody looks at it, but with an adult, it’s like, you know, if you say you’re not having a drink, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go they look at you like. What’s wrong with you? Well, we can still have a good time. You know,

Lane: I love that and I didn’t see the Tropicana ad and now I have to go and find it. I might’ve been polled. It probably was. I hope it was pulled. And you just unpacked again so much about the stigma and the shame and what. Women mothers have to face. It is so unfair. That is one of the reasons what I finally you know, I joke about I’ve come out of the closet, you know, I’m sober a long time and, you know, I was told for so long, it’s like, no, you don’t really talk about it.

You don’t, you don’t, you don’t need to talk about it in public. You know, when the pandemic hit, I w I kind of had this like, oh, th. I know that there are women who are throwing their kids in the closet so they can drink. Right. I know that there are, it’s going to get deep and dark here. And I, I force myself to come out of the closet and share, and that is why I’ve done.

The show is to really expose that as mothers, we can be awesome. Without being bullied without the shame, without being under, under the bondage of commercialism and that like you must, in order to get through your day, have rosy all day. No. No, there are other practices. I think that’s why I love the work that I do, because I’m able to facilitate a calm life with ladies.

test: Hey friend dropping in right here. To let you know, do not forget about grabbing your membership, to recover like a mother. Learn how to change your relationship with stress. Sleep more deeply. And start aging backward. Start enjoying your relationships more. I have monthly workshops, practices, classes, and new weekly meditations added to the library.

You can learn more about all of this. Over at recovering like a mother. Dot com. Forward slash membership. Okay, now let’s get back to Elizabeth.

Lane: Like how do you get through, so, Elizabeth, how are you getting through? Right. How, how, how do you get through your days now that you don’t have rosy all-day

Elizabeth: over? Thank God. I don’t have rosy all day. I’d be passed out right now. And, I and so grateful to be sober through this pandemic because it really would have been really bad for me.

And there would have, it would have been a total nightmare. How I get through it is I work a 12-step program and I get through it every day with my program, with my sponsor meetings and my higher power, you know, I call my higher power. You know, God, I like saying God’s universe spirit. It kind of like all of it.Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

You know, that has really helped me lane. It’s like once I just really like tapped into that and realized like I’m not in control and I got to give this up and let my higher power help me. And for me to get out of my way. Cause I thought, you know, like a lot of us alcoholics do that. We can control it.

I tried that for a really, really long time and it never, never worked. And once I give it over to my higher power and followed the program and the steps and showed up and live my life with honesty and willingness just the miracle started happening. Fortunately for myself, I got to the end where I just, I couldn’t do it anymore.

I was exhausted. It just, it wasn’t working, you know, things that used to work. Weren’t working as far as, oh, I won’t drink this, I’ll drink that or only drink one day or it just, it didn’t work because I’m an alcoholic and I have an allergy, you know, it’s like, when you really kind of like, look at it that way, it was like, no wonder certain things were happening to me.

You know, it’s like me being allergic to peanuts and still eating peanuts and being like, why is this happening? Psych? Oh, okay. So I just really have to stay connected to all of that. And I’m so grateful to have been introduced to clubhouse and and then to go on there and then be like, oh yeah, let me look on there.

Oh, they’re sobriety. And. I think you were one of the first rooms that I went into and I was like, oh, I like her, you know, and I’m going to follow her and all these other people and wow. There’s, there’s stuff there all the time to tap into. If you’re feeling, you know, that you need a pep talk or, you know, need to hear words from other sober people.

Yeah.

Lane: I hear this a lot, this higher power, the honesty and the willingness. And so many times in recovery, we find ourselves doing life and we forget that there’s a higher power. We forget to be honest, we forget We just, and especially in the pandemic, I think a lot of moms have, you know, we’ve had to put our heads down and just do so how are you staying connected to that higher power?

Elizabeth: I have to okay. Free day, but what do you do?

Lane: What do you do? Because I know that this, this disconnect, we can disconnect in a second because alcoholism is so strong. And so it’s baffling. So sneaky. Right? So how do you stay plugged in to that power?

Elizabeth: Well, every morning when I get up, I, I do think God, my higher power for another sober day, like I wake up and I’m like, oh my God, I’m S I’m sober.

You know and I, I think I need to get more on my knees every day and thank him, but I really I do always start with like, thank you, thank you God, for another day. And I always ask his, you know, they will not mind. And to please be with me through the day, you know, and I need to slow down when I start my day really fast.

That’s where, you know, I can kind of take over. But I need to like have a slower start. I’ve also been recently doing This early morning gratitude meeting. And it’s such a great way to just like start my day and to just kind of like listen to other people in the program and just have that gratitude.

But yeah, you’re right lane. It can sneak up on you really fast. I mean, this past weekend, it was a doozy for me in the earlier part of this week, you know, I felt like my emotional sobriety was off, you know, and it’s like, We have to remind ourselves like I have to talk to my higher power and give it up.

I have to surrender and surrender again and help me take this from me. Do you know? Sometimes when I’m feeling really overwhelmed, I almost do like a visualization, like almost like there’s a cup or a bowl above me and I like put whatever it is in there and like give it to him. You know, like that visual is like really empowering for me.

And I just have to stay connected and I’ve just got to work on it all the time. I hope that answered the question.

Lane: I think, you know what our moms, I think they tune in for is to hear not only the message of recovery, but little tips that they can use that later. Like, oh, Elizabeth is holding up the bowl.

Maybe that’ll work for me. It’s it’s we don’t, I don’t know what has kept me sober for the past, like 20, almost 25 years. I can’t, I can’t tell you, like, I don’t know. Because there’s so many different things and there’s been so many people in my life that have helped along the way. So I kind of do a lot all the time.

So when I hear you, I like this, this bowl, this image, I’m like, I’m going to try that. I’m gonna try that. That’s a great idea. How has your family life changed in the last two years?

Elizabeth: Hmm. Well, my immediate family with my husband and my kids it’s been great. You know, my husband is super, super supportive.

Did your husband know that

Lane: you had a problem?

Elizabeth: Yes. I, you know, he’s an enabler. And I say that with a lot of love, you know, he, he’s not an alcoholic, so he’s, doesn’t get it. So he’d be like, well, can’t you just this can’t you just that, you know, and I’d be like I’m trying, it’s just not working.

You know? The morning after my last drink I knew I needed help. I heard my higher power tell me it was time and I knew exactly what that meant. And I apologize for my behavior for the night before to make kids. Cause that was the, like the first time that they had really seen mom drunk.

They thought it was silly and I apologize inside it wasn’t and off they went, you know, they were little, they were going to school and I remember telling my husband that I was sorry, and I needed help that I was exhausted. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go And I couldn’t do this anymore. And even at that time, he had said like, are you sure you just can’t have X instead of this?

And I was like, yeah, no, it was just not working. And I’m tired. Like I want, I need help. And he is from then on and it has always been supportive, but I don’t think he really knew to the extent of how sick I was. I didn’t either. And he’s been very supportive. My children have been super supportive and you know, are proud of me. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

As far as my extended family you know, everyone has been supportive, but it definitely changes when you get sober.

Lane: Yeah. What I found is that they’re curious, people become curious and they investigate their own lives, or they say, oh, you weren’t that bad. There’s a lot of denial, I guess, and with your kids now, I’m sure that you are showing up and present for them. And I’m sure it’s a lot harder.

Elizabeth: Yes.

Especially with 12 it’s real hard. Yeah. One of each. And so they’re each going through their own experience with this, you know, preteen, whatever, but yeah, I’m, I’m definitely showing up in, , dealing with it, there’s just, there’s no numbing out, but I’m, I’m, I’m grateful too, to be able to, to show them that you.

You just handle life on life’s terms and you don’t need to, and I’m out, you know, because even they see it in society, like they see stuff, I just, I hope I can do whatever I can do or just, you know just live a sober life. And for them to see that, , in order to go on vacation, to go to a party, to celebrate life, like you don’t need to be drinking.

 That was what was modeled for me. And that was normal.

Lane: You, you are breaking the cycle. Yes I am. Yeah. Enough is enough. Yeah. It’s so powerful when we actually have that shift of consciousness and can see, oh, this is changing my child. It’s changing the projected psych. His future. Her future is now going to be different.

Yeah. I love that sober moms.

Elizabeth: I do too. I mean, like you just can’t even put a price on it. There’s like nothing. It’s just like it’s so empowering and freeing and peaceful all in the same thing, it’s just, I don’t know. I’m just, I’m really grateful. And that when you say like what helps you daily it’s like that stuff does.

 I do have to stay connected to my higher power. I have to do his, well, not mine. I have to be doing the next right thing, and I, I really take this. I take it seriously, I need to be a sober mom and my kids are watching me. So yeah.

Lane: Yeah. They’re watching. Right. They always are watching.

That’s what I find so interesting as my son has gotten older. He’s never seen me. Drink. But my behavior, right. I can fall into a bad behavior. I’m not drinking, but I can be not on the right footing, so to speak. So I have to, yeah, because there is no way to numb out. There’s nothing, nothing else is going to fix that way.

That I think the way that I react. And so a lot of times He will say to me now, have you done your meditation mama, which is huge, he’ll say on Saturday, so we’ll be like, you it’s time for you to go meditate, which is a great that it’s like he has the awareness that that’s the tool that I need, or he reminds me to get right.

Instead of me dipping in and being kind of mean, or, you know, bingeing on behavior that is not healthy. It being a sober mom, it just changes the dynamics 100%.

Do you read, are you a reader? Are you reading any great books these days?

Elizabeth: I am a reader. I kind of go in waves, you know? I’m always involved in something.

So I did read, and I don’t know if you read, but it was a fast, I like a fast read. So untamed from our sober sister, Glennon, Doyle was amazing. I loved that book. She’s just an amazing writer and I just love everything she says that was my last, like fast read.

Lane: Another other sober moms have talked about Glenna and I have not read the book myself.

It’s one of those people have read little excerpts to me and I feel I need to just pick it up and read it. You do, because I feel like there’s, there’s so many similarities. Yes. Is that how you felt.

Elizabeth: Yes. You know, it’s like in our, in the rooms we find the similarities, not, you know, not the differences, right?

Yeah. So just, you know, her story is not the same as mine, but there’s similarities there for sure. And just how she writes is just beautiful. And I also, I also read a lot And it goes again, goes in waves sometimes, but Gabby Bernstein and she too is another sober sister. And I really like her stuff.

Universe has your universe has your back. I love that book. That really, that helped me before I was even sober. But yeah, and I have some other some other books actually, I’m reading one. I can’t find it right now, but there’s one that I’m reading about. Oh, wait. It’s right here. This one’s these two, this one’s a short one.

 A year without fear or just, it’s like beautiful daily reads to start your day. So I try and start my day with that. I’m not always perfect with it, but this is a beautiful book. And then I’m also reading this one one breath at a time Buddhism and the 12 steps. So I’m kind of doing those. So,

Lane: so when you wake up, are you riddled with fear?

Elizabeth: No

Lane: usually

Elizabeth: no.

Lane: And if there are seven days in the week, how often are you truly practicing living in a surrendered state?

Elizabeth: That’s a good question. I mean, I would say probably six out of seven. Like I said to you earlier, my S my, sir, my sobriety is everything to me. Like, I don’t want to go back out. I, I want to get this right. And so I work at it every single day with that being said, though, are there days that I fall off?

And my thinking that ism, you know, like you were saying with your son where he’s like, You need to go meditate, you know, like I have that all the time, you know, or it’s like, mom needs a time out. Like I need to go, you know, sit on the clubhouse and listen. Or I need to go meditate myself, you know, but it’s always top of mind that surrender, like, am I working my program?

Do you know how I responded to my kids or my husband, like the other day, my husband said something and I kind of snapped at him. And I had to go make an amend, you know, and I apologize so that wasn’t very nice. I’m sorry. And he didn’t even know what I was talking about. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Lane: that’s normal. Right. They’re clueless.

They don’t even get it. Yeah. He’s like what, but for you, you had to clean up your side, right. Your feeling, your emotional sobriety wasn’t right. Until you took that action. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So important and yeah. With your kids. Are you, so your present mom, what are some of the activities that you do with them?

Elizabeth: Hmm, well, you know, being the age that they are. They want to do all the devices and, you know they’re, you know, they’re like, it’s like the teen years, you know, so they don’t really want to be around mom and dad a ton and with this whole pandemic. Right. So we try and do I really well, we like going out to eat.

And we’re slowly kind of getting back to there. Like last night we had eye exams and then they wanted to go out to eat. And so we went out and ate. My son has kind of is relaxing a little bit with all of that. But, you know, just having time together, just kind of, you know, we’re always together, that’s the thing.

Like we’ve had so much time together. So you know, it’s just trying to find new ways. So, you know, we can do a game night is great. I really like like, especially on a Friday at the end of the week, having some family time too You know, watch a movie to just like to be together. And, you know, we like on the weekends to like make a bigger brunch and to turn the music on and to kind of dance and just be silly.

And, you know, I just want to be there for them, like pop my head and what’s going on. What do you need? What do you want to make, you know, running errands, stuff like that, you know, it’s, it’s different. It’s not like when they were little and like we were making, you know, doing projects together and, you know, they’re definitely trying to find themselves and do their own thing.

 My daughter is very involved in softball and so, you know, there’s a lot of carpooling and she’s doing that and it’s just being there for them and like, just really being present with them when I am with them, when they want to be with me. You know, just like my son where we’re at you know, everyone’s back to school five days a week.

And so with COVID and all the things, you know, they want some kids to be driven to school. My daughter doesn’t want to be driven by me, but my son does. So I got one on the bus and I’m driving the other one. And so I’m just trying to be there with him. Let him play the music that he wants to hear. Just.

Pausing just listening to him. Right. And I’m just trying to work the program and be a good mom. And, you know, he was kind of being kind of mean towards somebody and, you know, I’m really just trying to. You know, sprinkle wisdom that I’ve learned now, you know, my forties to a twelve-year-old and right.

Lane: Sprinkle the pearls of wisdom at my forties on my 12 years old. I love that. That’s such a good image. What I’m hearing is that sobriety is affording you to be a present mom. Yeah. And it doesn’t matter what you do, right. It doesn’t matter. You are there with them. And I have to agree with you. You know, my son always wants to go play pinball and I’m like, oh God look like you can only do that.

Like so many times though. Right? Like, yeah. True. I mean, I don’t, I don’t, he can go every day, the week though. And I now have learned. Okay. He wants to go play pinball. I’m going to let him do that because that’s what he wants to do. And I’m just going to sit in the car. . Whereas before I would beat myself up or I would say, no, we’re not going to do that, but I want him to be happy and I want to be happy.

So I’ve created this medium ground place, but, but I share this about it. It’s the ability to be present and to hear him and to hear his needs. Where if I was drinking or if I was in one of those non-sober spirals, which can happen without drinking you know, you can’t hear your kids, you can’t even hear your own heart. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Right. It’s like alcoholism. Again. I just talk about long-term recovery, the longer that I’m sober, the louder. Alcoholism can get because I’m farther or further away from that drink. And so for me, it’s like putting in twice as much work sometimes. So I can be a present mom because really that’s that’s my whole goal is to be there for him to sweat.Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

That’s what I’m hearing for you. It’s like, you just want to be there for your kids. Yeah. I love that. The multitasking of ones on the bus. Once driving in the car. Oh my God. We just do so much. And where’s your husband and all this. What’s

Elizabeth: he doing? He he’s here. He’s here. He’s, you know, we’ve got two dogs, so it’s kind of like, he’ll walk my daughter down to the bus stop.

And then a few minutes, so he’s making lunch, he’ll make lunches. He’s good. He’s very involved, I’m doing behind the scenes, she’s running off to the bus stop and, you know, he wants to try and get that time in until like she’s kind of at the verge, like no more.

Yeah. I volunteered that I would, I would drive my son, so I’ll, I’ll drive him. And then he’s at home taking the dogs out, you know, doing that kind of thing. So, it’s, it’s a juggling act for both of us. You know, Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Lane: it is like kids at that age. I mean, at any age, it’s just different, right?

Every, every year is a different kind of theme and now they need us. Yeah. And so as you’ve traveled through your recovery over the past two years, has there been a moment where you’ve thought, oh, this is it, this is what I have to do. I have to be sober. Like, have you had that moment? Like, oh, there’s no turning back.

Elizabeth: I don’t th I wouldn’t, no, I don’t think so. I mean, I think for me, it’s just been like, This is what it is. And I’m, I’m grateful to know and to have these tools in this new way of life, you know, like I said, I don’t want to go back. So in my life, you know, it’s like in the program, you got to do the hard work, right.

But then you come out to this other side of it and it’s so freeing and I have a lot of peace. I don’t want to go back to the other way, and so it’s like, this is my new normal. Yeah. And I like it. Yeah.

Lane: And what’s been, what’s been some of your hard work?

Elizabeth: I will say for me the emotional sobriety I really felt after I would say that’s been really hard boundaries.

In particular learning boundaries really finding and getting to the root cause of my drinking. That was hard. That was really hard. Yeah.

Lane: I think there’s something about you know when we first started our conversation about the moms who bully and the. They just don’t know. You don’t know what you don’t know.

I say this a lot on the show and those moms who are bullying or shaming right there, the denial is so thick. Yeah. And so, you know, when we get sober, we have to step into that honesty and that will that you talked about, and we have to do that every day. And it’s hard. It’s not always Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Elizabeth: easy. No, no. I mean, this is hard work, you know?

 And it never stops, you know? And like I said to my sponsor, you know, just the other week I just had like this disease, it’s a hard one, cause just when you think you’re just like, oh, I got it. It’s just like something else coming. It’s like it’s continual. It’s like, you’re always working on it.

Cause it’s. , it’s your thinking and it’s not just about alcohol for me. Once I got sober, I, I was really lucky. I never really had any, well, not really. I didn’t have any cravings. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go Like I was done. And so I was like, just tell me what I need to do. Like, I want to do this, I want to get this right.

So I was so grateful for that, but then it’s like, oh, well, I’m having these cravings. And then it’s just like like I said, it’s just like all that emotional stuff. And it’s like, there’s not like this final stamp date where it’s like, oh, okay, you’re all done. It’s like, no, no, no, no. This is forever. Yeah.

And we can’t tell you like how often you’re going to be working this every day, but it’s like, you know, it’s a daily maybe minutely, I don’t know, mental, even one word, but it’s hourly thing. It’s just like, you’re like, oh, you know, it’s kind of exhausting at times.

Lane: A men Elizabeth, but that is it.

I know that the mamas who are listening can relate and identify because that is it, it is a daily minute, our second by second time, because the disease Morse, right. It changes. It’s always there. It’s not going away. And you know, the only solution is spiritual. And a lot of people try to do a lot of different things to make it not spiritual, but it’s spiritual.

I come back to that all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Elizabeth: You know, I agree a hundred percent with what you’re saying, I grew up in a Catholic family where we would go to church every Sunday and all that. And, , I will say I always have like a connection to a higher power to God, but how I was raised with it.

 There’s a lot of fear, but when I had hard times in my life before I was sober, I always turned to God. Right. I always went to him to pray. Right. And it’s just like, like you said, it’s, I’m so grateful because it’s totally different. Right? It’s. It’s I know that he’s always there for me, whatever you want to call it, whether it’s nature or spirit or the program, or, you know, the tree outside, like it’s always there for me.

It’s just, I have to get out of my own way. And when I do the miracles happen, it’s like, Me finding you on the clubhouse and now we’re having this like great conversation. Like it’s not a coincidence, and it’s just like, it’s, it is, it’s like a God thing. It’s a spiritual thing. And I’m so grateful for that, may my son’s like, you know, We don’t go to the church anymore.

And I’m just like, no, but like I’m connected to God all the time. Like we are talking all the time and I really try and teach my kids that like, , we don’t have to be in church per se. There is a higher power there. That’s always wanting the best thing for you. And we’ll, we’ll always be there for you.

You just got to tap into that, and that’s a beautiful thing from From being sober, you know, and it’s like, I don’t ever want to go out because I would be so afraid to lose that.

Lane: That right there is the money that I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose that connection. I’ve had a couple of guests on the show episode, I believe two with Janna or it’s one I can’t remember.

And she talks about that disconnection. It scares me. Like I do not want to lose that. That is the juiciest yummiest thing in my life. And I hear that in you as well. And I hear that in many sober women and men, that when they have it, it fires them up. It lights them up, directs them and guides them to live. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

These really incredible lives where if they hadn’t gotten sober, I mean, can you imagine life without getting sober?

Elizabeth: No, no way there’d be insanity. I’d be dead. Like, forget

Lane: it. Forget it. There’s no way. I mean, I was drinking and driving. Hello? Like who does that? Well, I was so I so appreciative of that recognition.

Of that power, whatever it is, God’s universe, the cheese ocean, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. But there is something else working in your life. Yeah. And the way to reach that, to grab that is just by saying, okay. A tear. It can be that simple. Yeah. Yeah. That’s really true.

Elizabeth: Yeah. It can be that simple. I think when we learn just to get out of our own way.

Right. And I think that’s like the beautiful thing too, of getting sober. You, you really realize like, wow, I’ve been in my way this whole time, you know, nobody means to. Right. We just, you know, yeah. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go We just have gotta get out of our own way and pause and pray and do the next right thing. And yeah. Give it up to your higher power, whatever that is.

And it’s like, if you do those things, it’s like, it’s truly amazing how your, how different your life can be.

Lane: Yeah. So what has you fired up these days? Are you doing anything fun?

Elizabeth: Well My sobriety does, but also clean beauty is something that has always been something that has always had me fired up. You know, like I had said earlier in the episode, I, I struggled with infertility and when I had learned about how clean, how, excuse me, how personal care products you know, weren’t necessarily Being made with clean ingredients.

It really kind of had my ear there’s a connection there too. In fertility and autism and a lot of issues that are facing society today. So I partnered up with beauty counter and I have my own business there and just, trying to just educate people, really trying to obviously, carry the program.

I’m trying to be of service, and help people realize what they’re using and, there’s safer, cleaner choices for them, I

Lane: love that so much. I’m pro clean beauty. I’m pro like our skin. The biggest Oregon takes in all the toxins. And we don’t think about it. Even the water that we shower in, right.

If you’re not using or a filtration system, or if you, I live in a city that ha like, okay, I’m just going to stop right there. Okay. I can go on a rant on this, but our skin, and then as women we’re hit with society’s pressure of like, you have to look good and wear the mascara and the makeup and the base.

And so I’m all about. Clean beauty. Yeah. And it is about educating because people don’t know. Yeah.

Elizabeth: They don’t, I mean, a lot of people don’t know, they still don’t know. So yeah, so I’m really, I’m really passionate about that and just trying to help people and yeah, that’s

Lane: so amazing. I love it so much. Do you do classes with clean beauty?

Are you like, do you do little classes or anything like that where our ladies can find you and follow along

Elizabeth: or. They can find me on on Instagram Elizabeth underscore Winston and ski beautiful at Instagram. And yeah, they can see I’ll post stuff on there. I do help women help them clean up their personal care products so they could say, you know, this is what I’m using and I can make suggestions.

 Beauty counter is, is not the only clean. Option that is out there, but it’s just super, you know, you can kind of go through everything and they have a solution for you, but there are other clean beauty products out there. And it’s not just that as well, like you were saying lean like our skin, right?

So people need to think about household stuff, laundry, detergents, and there’s just all these little things that we could be doing to to clean up All of the stuff that we’re using.

Lane: Right. I had an episode with Stephanie May Potter. And in that episode, we talk about detoxification and cleaning the liver.

Love your liver, clean it up. And we don’t think mothers were like, go, go, go all the time. We don’t have time to think about like, oh, there’s, you know, Chemicals in the cleaning products that we’re using, but we’re breathing it. We’re putting it on our skin, our fingers, our hands, our bodies. And so when we take a take the time to do a detox cleaning out the liver, not only are we helping the body physically.

But we’re also helping ourselves emotionally and spiritually when we go on a liver detox journey. And so when we use clean beauty products, and clean house products, less damage to the liver. I am just so passionate about cleaning things up. When we get sober. Yes. They

Elizabeth: love that. Listen to that episode on the club,

Lane: it’s also on the Instagram.

We did a, an ID TB where we talk more about it. So, oh, Elizabeth I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. Thank you so much for hanging out with us.

Elizabeth: Anytime. My pleasure. Thank you so much

Lane: for having me. So the ladies are gonna find you over on Instagram at Elizabeth underscore. When Sinskey do you have a website or that’s it just there?

Elizabeth: Just there. Perfect. And then there’s the link. Beautiful and my bio will bring you to the website, and then you can also make an appointment on Callen deli for one-on-one appointments as well. Awesome. Why Mommy Wine Culture Needs to Go

Lane: So very good. Well, mama, I just want to say. Thank you for listening to our conversation. I hope you found something inspiring.

I hope you found something insightful. I want to wish you a beautiful day. May you find something light, something bright and something so juicy that fills you up to be the best you can be until next time.

(please Forgive transcription imperfectionS)

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