We live in uncertain times and so many of us are facing what is next in life? How will you show as the New Year approaches?
This episode shares my number one tip.
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Dealing with uncertainty
Welcome back. Hello friend. I’m so glad you’re with me today. Today. I’m going to be going over this question, which is what do you do when you don’t know what to do with your life? Yeah, I know it’s pretty big. I’m so glad you’re here with me. Thank you for being here. My name is a lane, Kennedy. This is the connected, calm life. Dealing with uncertainty
A podcast dedicated to. Bringing you a little more connection, a little more calm, little more peace. One closer to yourself. Today it’s me behind the mic by myself, Wednesdays. I do meditation or mindfulness practice. And then on Fridays, I have a cohost where we get a little deeper or we have fun and we share some.
Oh, if you’re new here, thank you so much for finding me. And if you’re coming back, I just want to just deep appreciation for you for sharing this podcast, because I know you are, and for rating and reviewing it over on iTunes. And when you do, please send me a screenshot of that. So I can send you a bottle of my meditation. Dealing with uncertainty
Spray that I created and I love, and I hope you will as well. Just it’s my way to say, thank you for participating in this podcast and sharing it with others. You know, when I started this podcast, I didn’t, I don’t know. I didn’t really have any expectations, but I knew that I had to get behind the mic and I’m just so grateful that you show up and you listen.
So thank you. One thing that I want to mention really quickly, this podcast is being brought to you by.dot evolution. You that’s right. Evolution of you. It’s my group coaching program experience, and it is going to begin January 5th. And I hope that you will be a part of it in week one. We’re talking about breaking free from your.
Or if you have an addiction to say, I don’t know, Snickers bars, like I used to week two is all about DNA activation and how you recharge your being. We’ll be able to look at your DNA. That’s really exciting. Week three is about this calm life that. Is my favorite way to be week four, is the idea around changing one thing that changes your life week five is mindful neuroscience, sorry.
I kind of nerd out on your brain for a minute to help you understand how to thrive and evolve in your life. And week six is intense. Living. So all six weeks wrapped up, put a bow on it and you, my friend will evolve again. That program starts January 5th, that you can find out more information at email@example.com coaching.
I hope you will join the group coaching vessel that starts on January 5th. Okay. So let’s get into today’s episode, which is. Answering not answering it’s. I want to share some experience around this exact question. What do you do when you don’t know what to do? I know there are a lot of people in the world right now facing job crises marriage uncertainties financial challenges.
And I have. Gone through this question quite a bit in my own recovery. You know, when I was three years in sobriety, when I was five years in sobriety, I was like couch surfing. What not? Dealing with uncertainty That’s I’m sorry. When I was five years, I traveled to the other side of the world and did, I don’t even know what I was doing over there.
When I was seven years, I was couch searching and trying to figure out my life you know, in between there I was writing a book Which was a great adventure. I’ve gone back to school. I’ve gotten certifications. I’ve like all these things pile up to become, who I am. And so I’ve, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to kind of noodle this. Dealing with uncertainty
What do you do when you don’t know what to do? And this is a huge question that many I’m going to say nine out of 10 of my clients will come to me with, what am I going to do? Lane? I don’t know what to do with my life. And I just read this article in the New York Times about, you know, women really kind of pushing back.
And wanting to change their lives. Now that we’re all working remotely and we have this new paradigm where we are responsible for a certain amount of things at work still, but we’re now we’re responsible for everything in the household including taking care of the dog, the cars w. Financial stuff like whatever it is, like the load that women have been given since the pandemic is incredible.
It’s an invisible load that we don’t really talk about and it’s caused some extra stress and anxiety. And this question, what do I do when I don’t know what to do? Looms, how am I going to get out of this situation? W how can I change my employment? How can I make more money? Where am I going to go? I want to move my family to a safer town or city.
I want to move out of the city. Right? All of these types of questions are blossoming like rapid fire. And so today I want to share some stories. And give you some insights on how to possibly keep walking through this. And if in your, if you’re in recovery, this is an opportunity for growth. This is an opportunity to look at your life differently.
So I believe in grace, Dealing with uncertainty I wrote a book about it and. Strong. Like I’m not, I’m not a like go to a church person, but I love people that go to church and are, have strong faith. When I was younger, I had that and I don’t have it anymore. Now I have this spiritual faith, I guess, but if I look at this word, grace, it is this idea around being courteous being having Goodwill.
Having this presence in my life. So I believe that grace has afforded me to well, for one thing, stopped drinking afforded me to stop eating Snickers bars, afforded me to have a child afforded me to live in San Francisco for Jesus. Thing grace, this Goodwill, this courteousness, this, ocean of yummy that I relish every day allows me to live this life.
Now you may be thinking, but lane, what does that have to do with me? And I’m not getting what I want. What do I do? So I’m going to share a story with you back in March. Of 2020, let’s go back. Let’s go back in time for a minute. I had the opportunity. I was teaching at the department of emergency and I went in that day.
To practice with them, teach mindfulness. And I, I drove up in the street was blocked and they had all these police cars there and they had the news team there. And I was like, what is happening? This is crazy town. And they’re like, what? Well, w w w we, we don’t, we can’t have you here today. And they had like people in hazmat suits and I was like, what is going on?
And my point of contact said, lane, You’re not supposed to tell anybody this, but I’m going to tell you this, because this is what’s going down. We are opening the port for the ship that has you know, a virus and we don’t know what that is. And we don’t know what to say, and we don’t know what to do. The city could possibly.
And I was like, what I felt like I was like in a different time, like in a different world when this happened, honestly, I was like, what, what, what, what, wait a minute. So I left that. I left the building and walked back to my car thinking what is happening? And what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
What do I do? And I just sat in my car and I paused, I didn’t do anything. I just paused. And I called it. And I told him, I said, do you know about this? And he goes, it’s all over the news lane, San Francisco, you guys are crazy up there. Dealing with uncertainty And I just was like, oh my God. And I just took it in. And I ended up going to a mutual aid meeting.
And in that meeting, they were kind of oblivious to what was happening, making plans for the future. And. Do you realize what’s happening they weren’t privileged to the information that I had. And I said, I think we need to be thinking about how we’re going to support people because we’re not gonna be able to meet in person anymore.
And they didn’t really hear me. And I said, okay, well, whatever. And you know, lo and behold, the next day in San Francisco closed that day, I by grace absolute. Called and sent out a text message to about 50 women. And I began a mutual aid meeting. Now it has been a journey starting in being a part of this community.
And over the last year in whatever, it’s been almost two years now. There’s been about 86,000 participants that we have that have gone through this particular community, this online space. And it’s been up and down. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster for me personally. And I want to get back to like, what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
I didn’t know. What to do when they said lane, we’re not going to be using you right now. We can’t have you in the building. I paused, my next move was to start this little group.
My next move was to continue to go to that group.
Asking people to practice. I kept sharing my zoom IDs, I would hold meditations, but I didn’t put a lot of effort into it. I kept having clients, but I didn’t put a lot of effort into it. I put all my eggs in this basket of women who were suddenly showing up from all over the world. Member from Denmark and Spain and Sweden and Mexico and all Mo like all 50 states have been represented.
And I share this because I didn’t know what to do, but I paused. And as a result of that, pause, this community blew up in my face and it’s been challenging and reward. And has allowed me to evolve as a woman. Now, what does this have to do with you? I share this little story because I didn’t know what to do, but what I did know what to do was to pause and to serve for me, service changes the game.
When I share openly, honestly, willing. Something magical happens. And that’s where I go back to this grace concept. That is why this idea around my daily practice of going to the ocean of yummy is non-negotiable. Because if I wasn’t or if I didn’t show up to the ocean of yummy, I wasn’t capable of holding space.
All of these participants who have fallen into this mutual aid meeting, this group of fantastic women now about, I don’t know, let’s say 15 months in, I kind of had a meltdown and I was like, oh my God, I can’t take it anymore. And I thought, what do I do when I don’t know what to do? And I pause. I paused.
I took a time out and I didn’t go for about six months. I didn’t go. I was just like, I’m out. Don’t talk to me. Don’t call me. People were like, whoa, what’s happening? Where are you going? Wait a minute. And I just took a total timeout because I couldn’t, there was just, it was too much. It was just too much for me.
And about a month ago I found myself craving the connection. And being a part of something. And I went back in to the room and I just listened. I didn’t let anybody know that I was there. I was just an innocent bystander and the calm, the comradery and the laughter and the chit-chat and the hope I started crying.
I could feel I could, the, the sense of joy and grace was living within this very strange place of zoom online. So what do you do when you don’t know what to do? You pause? You take a timeout. I took that time. And then I went back, I started listening and I’ve shown up again. And I share this because this idea of allowing space to just be is okay.
We live in a culture where everything is. Dealing with uncertainty I got to do this now. And I’m here to tell you, my friend, you don’t have to do it. Everything will work out. Everything will be figured out with time, but you have to allow yourself the time. It’s almost as if I gave myself permission not to go. I had to give myself permission to just step away.
Dealing with uncertainty
I didn’t realize I was doing that. I just, because I’m in recovery for a long time now I just backed up.
And what does this have to do with you? What do you do when you don’t know what to do with your life? How do you answer these questions of how am I going to pay the mortgage? Where am I going to move to? What school does my kid going to get into pause? This is a time of year when everything kind of starts turning upside down. Dealing with uncertainty
And I want to invite you to just get quiet and soften the edges and fall into grace. Allow yourself to be slow. There’s no need to rush. You know, I started this podcast in the. And I had no idea what was going to occur. Just like I had no idea about that mutual aid meeting. I didn’t know that it would touch the lives that it’s touched and that this, this it’s become it’s, it’s, it’s a live thing.
It’s kind of crazy. Just like this podcast. It’s a live thing. There’s a community that’s being built. And so I share this today because if you are asking yourself what is next in your life, what is the next pause? Maybe this month is about you taking time off and maybe it’s just like three days or maybe it’s a week.
Maybe it’s three weeks. I’m not sure what it is for you. Dealing with uncertainty But having space to let the answer surface through your connection with the ocean of yummy or whatever you want to call, will bring you the answers. I promise. I promise. I see this every time, time, time, time. And time takes time.
I’m at 19 minutes, I’ve gone on too long. So allow yourself to take a breath with me here. Take a breath, inhale and exhale. Know that you are right on time. Divine timing. And if you’re struggling with what to do next pause, allow yourself to breathe. Allow yourself to be in the moment and trusted. Okay, friend, you never know what’s on the other side.
I didn’t know what was going to be on the other side. Of creating this community, which has brought, which has brought me incredible relationships and friendships and tears of joy. And that’s what I want for you with whatever your next step is. Joy. Okay. And that from me today. Thank you for being here again.
I love that. You’re with me. Let me know what you think of this episode. If you have questions or want to, you know, grab a session with me, check out the group coaching. Yeah. It’s all worth it. Go slow today, tomorrow and the next. And I’ll see you again on Wednesday.
Okay. Friend, may you find something bright, something light and something so delicious.
It fills you up so you can be the best. I know you can be until next time. Take good care.